My Anxiety

So I have been diagnosed for a while now with OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder. Before I got pregnant I was on Zoloft for both. Now, obviously I cannot be on that drug with breastfeeding so I have been "dealing" with my issues. I am sure you are wondering what my issues are.
 Most of my OCD deals with food and cleaning
1. I must eat even amounts of food. If it is uneven I will split the last bite in half.
2. Each bite will only be chewed on one side of my mouth then on the other side for the next bite.
3. I only eat one food on my plate at a time
4. I will not eat certain foods like Onions because of their texture
5. I am mostly normal with my cleaning but I go on cleaning binges especially when my life seems a bit out of control.
6. My work place/ desk is the most organized you will ever see. I must have even numbers of everything.
7. My books and things on shelves and in drawers are organized by size.
8. I bite my nails not because it is a nervous habit but because they are uneven

Social Anxiety
1. I hate driving anywhere by myself
2. Driving in traffic gives me panic attacks
3. I don't like going to events when my husband can't be there.
4. I will cancel on people if my husband can't be at the event because he can't be there to keep me calm
5. I will cancel on people if I have had another social event earlier in the day
6. My usual excuse is that I have a migraine/ I'm sick or Xander is sick.
7. Don't take it personally if I cancel on you. Believe me it's not you it is 100% me.

I hope after I am done breast feeding that I can get back on my Zoloft. Until that point.... I deal.

Letting my Freak Flag Fly

So apparently according to an anonymous commenter, I am too "different" and "rebellious".
In celebration of my originality, I am going to post a list of things that make me unique and different than anyone else and what I love most about myself.
1. I am a huge Star Wars fan
2. I am a middle school social studies teacher
3. I used to decorate my classroom in star wars memorabilia
4. I have over 15 star wars t-shirts
5. I have every single star wars pez dispenser available.
6. I have watched the original trilogy so many times I have the lines memorized
7. During the labor of my son, I watched all of the original trilogy and he was born during "Luke, I am your father"
8. I have read all the Harry Potter books.
9. I have read all the Twilight books
10. I have been to the midnight showings of every Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Twilight movie
11. I decorate my house with Fantasy and Star Wars Posters
12. My husband owned the Fantasy Posters and I owned the Star Wars posters before we met.
13. I own every season of the shows Charmed, Stargate SG-1, Stargate atlantis, Firefly, Buffy, and Angel.
14. I have been studying wicca for 5 years now
15. I enjoy shopping at Hot Topic and Pinup girl clothing
16. I bought star wars onesies for my son
17. My hubby and I would be super proud if our son ends up being a nerd
18. My husband's nickname is Dragon
19. My husband and I are so alike it is scary, only where I am obsessed with Star Wars, he is obsessed with Transformers.
20. My husband and I both have tattoos
21. I am an ancient world history freak and I love studying ancient cultures
22. I have an IQ of 160
23. I love to display the 100's of books I read
24. My Goddess is Athena and my husband's God is Anubis
25. I intend to allow my son to choose whatever religion he wants to follow
26. I cannot wait to buy my son baby chucks and his first set of legos
27. I have a photographic memory
28. I never made lower than a B in school (other than in Math lol)
29. I made deans list in College
30. I play the flute
31. I was in Tau Beta Sigma music service sorority in college
32. I was in Marching and Concert band in high school in college
33. I met my first husband in college and he is a music teacher
34. I divorced him because he was mentally abusive among other bad qualities
35. I took dance classes all the way through college
36. Tap is my best dance style and I still own tap shoes
37. I am better than most when it comes to working on computers, other than my friend Patrick who works for Dell lol.
38. My husband loves me for me
39. My husband and my tastes are almost identical
40. My husband and I just upgraded our engagement/ wedding rings. Here are a couple of pictures of mine:

If anything on this list bothers you too much, you can feel free to not read my blog anymore. Remember, If you cannot say something nice, then don't say it at all.

I know I have been slacking.

But taking care of a baby is tough work. Plus we just had Brian's Dad and Step-mom come to visit last week. That was a horrible adventure. His Step-mom has no concept of boundaries. Here is an example. We bought an 80 pack of k-cups at Costco the evening they came in. By the third day they were there, they had used 40 of them. that is right 40 cups of coffee in 3 days. WTF! And K-cups are not cheap by any stretch of the imagination.

Xander is sleeping right now. We have found that if he gets a two hour nap in the morning and a 3 hour nap in the afternoon, then he sleeps most of the way through the night. He is still pretty Colicy but not as bad as before.

My Parents come into town tomorrow and will be in town for the next 2 weeks.

So about a month ago I got a letter from the State of Kansas. It was regarding my state retirement. Apparently because I only worked 4 years instead of 5 there in Kansas, I wasn't vested and had to pull out the money that was put into their retirements system. So last week about $4500 were deposited into our checking account. We used that money to get several things.
#1 was a new Living Room.
We got a 42" LG LED TV, LG BluRay and Surround Sound, Coffee Table, End Tables, A Leather Couch, A leather love seat, New Lamps, Baskets to go under the end tables, Frames for our posters on the wall, And a new rug. And two new posters and two throw pillows.
#2 was the Lanai.
We got tiki torches, String lights, a weed eater, an american flag, and a US Army spinner. We also moved the old grey couch onto the Lanai for comfy seating, and some plastic dinnerware.
#3 Was Xander
We got a new Tummy time mat, Several outfits, a swim suit, a tent for the beach with SPF 50, sunscreen, and a new blanket, and a johnny jump up
#4 was the Car
Brian got a new fuel filter and some other filters to help improve his gas mileage.
#5 Was the Bedroom
We got an additional end table for Brian's side of the bed, and we moved the old coffee table upstairs to become a bench at the end of the bed and I made a pillow for on top.
#6 Was for us
Brian got a pair of shorts and a polo shirt, I got 4 nursing tanks and a pair of jeans. We also ordered our upgraded wedding rings from Zales.com (they come in tomorrow)

Here are a few pictures of what we bought.

Tummy Time Mat

Loveseat

TV and surround sound

couch and pillows

end tables

rug and coffee table

other end table

posters

Lanai

couch in lanai

string lights

flag and tiki's

spinner and tikis

Johnny jump up

plastic plates and bowls

Bench, I made that pillow :)

nightstand

My favorite of his new clothes

Swimsuit!

Happy Baby

Well Xander is a month old on Sunday. We have had our ups and our downs. He is gaining weight and breastfeeding like a champ. Our only issue is lots and lots of gas. Hopefully, his digestion system will mature soon enough to process his food a bit better.  He tends to sleep a 5 hour block and a 2 hour block at night. His only sleeping issue is that he only wants to go to bed at 10pm no earlier which doesn't give Brian and I any alone time. We would like him to go to be around 8pm or so, hopefully we can start working towards that soon so Brian and I can have some adult time too. Right now it is 12:30pm and he is taking a nap. So without further ado  Here is the picture of the happy baby:

Happy Easter

From our family to yours.

Our Birth Story

I woke up on the morning of April 14th and called Labor and Delivery to see if they had a room available for our induction. We were told to call back later so we waited till 8:30 and called back and they had a rooms for us. We arrived at the hospital at 9am and they admitted us and got my IV started and checked for dilation. I was a very soft 2cm so they started me on pitocin to get the contractions going and they inserted a bulb to dilate me quickly. By 1pm the bulb had fallen out and I was 4cam dilated so they broke my water. I had been doing fine wih pain management until they broke my water. Afterwards the pain was so strong that I would tense up my whole body and the contractions were being counter productive. They narcotics they gave me did nothing for the pain and dropped Xander's heart rate so, I chose to get an epidural after about a half an our of horrible pain. After that it was smooth sailing. I was checked at 11pm and I was already 9cm dilated so they sat me up to allow gravity to do its thing. We were thrilled that the OB I had been seeing the whole pregnancy was able to deliver our son. At 11:45 they had me do 2 practice pushes and I already pushed him into the birth canal. They let gravity take over for a few more minutes while they set the room up. I officially started delivery pushes at 12:15. Xander Orion ******** was born at 12:29 April 15th with only 15 minutes of pushing. Aparently I am a pushing champ lol. He was 7lbs 10.8oz and 19 inches long. He was born with a full head of light brown hair and huge feet. I torn in 2 small places on the inside but did not need an epistiotime. We are the two happiest parents alive.

It has been a while

So here is my update. Brian is now on Paternity leave. I am due to be induced on the 14th. I have a Non-stress Test and a tour of labor and delivery on Monday. On Tuesday I have my final OB appointment. Last appointment I had my membranes stripped and that did pretty much nothing lol. I have been having regular contractions today but they have been 30 minutes apart. I have decided to not have an epidural for the labor because the thought of a tube being stuck into my spine makes me nauseated. Plus, without the epidural I will be able to walk and use a birthing ball and sit up during the delivery to allow gravity to help and I will be able to feel to push. We are all packed and ready to go. Both cars have the infant carrier bases installed. We have 3 bags and a boppy laying on the couch ready to be picked up and carried to the car. All I need to do is print off the phone list for my hubby. Brian is excited and nervous lol. On the day of induction I will be waking up at 5:00 to shower and eat. At 6:30 we will call the hospital to make sure there is space available for us. If there isn't I will either have to call back later or call on Friday. When I get admitted they will put an IV in and will start administering Pitocin to enhance my contractions. I am already dilated to at least 2cm so they wont have to dilate me. Xander will be on monitors the whole time because I am high risk. They will wait to see if my water breaks on its own, if it doesn't they will break it for me. I am hoping my body doesn't fight it because they will be inducing me at 39 weeks due to my chronic hypertension and family history. I really would like to avoid a c-section if possible. So yeah Thursday I will more than likely be a mommy. I will definitely post pics afterwards.