Wednesday, June 22, 2011

My Anxiety

So I have been diagnosed for a while now with OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder. Before I got pregnant I was on Zoloft for both. Now, obviously I cannot be on that drug with breastfeeding so I have been "dealing" with my issues. I am sure you are wondering what my issues are.
 Most of my OCD deals with food and cleaning
1. I must eat even amounts of food. If it is uneven I will split the last bite in half.
2. Each bite will only be chewed on one side of my mouth then on the other side for the next bite.
3. I only eat one food on my plate at a time
4. I will not eat certain foods like Onions because of their texture
5. I am mostly normal with my cleaning but I go on cleaning binges especially when my life seems a bit out of control.
6. My work place/ desk is the most organized you will ever see. I must have even numbers of everything.
7. My books and things on shelves and in drawers are organized by size.
8. I bite my nails not because it is a nervous habit but because they are uneven

Social Anxiety
1. I hate driving anywhere by myself
2. Driving in traffic gives me panic attacks
3. I don't like going to events when my husband can't be there.
4. I will cancel on people if my husband can't be at the event because he can't be there to keep me calm
5. I will cancel on people if I have had another social event earlier in the day
6. My usual excuse is that I have a migraine/ I'm sick or Xander is sick.
7. Don't take it personally if I cancel on you. Believe me it's not you it is 100% me.

I hope after I am done breast feeding that I can get back on my Zoloft. Until that point.... I deal.

1 comment:

  1. I never knew that about your food, that's interesting.

    You can feel free to come binge clean this place :D I also hate going anywhere by myself, especially if I have to drive. I didn't mind it so much in Chicago b/c I could get on the train, but there's something about driving without anyone else in the car that freaks me out. I always assume I'll wind up lost.

    I'm sure when you're done breastfeeding you can get back on it, maybe this break will help you learn to cope a little better without it, though? Either way, I think you're perfect just the way you are :)